Lelouch's Hollywood Adventure
by Windrises
Summary: Hollywood tries to make a film about Zero starring Prince Schneizel as Zero.


Notes: Code Geass is owned by Sunrise. This story is dedicated to all of the talented people who worked on Code Geass.

Lelouch Lamperouge jumped to the living room and said "I have big news."

C. C. asked "What's going on?"

Lelouch said "There's a film being made in Hollywood about Zero. Because of that I got invited to check it out."

C. C. asked "Who's going to direct it?"

Lelouch said "Alan Smithee. He's been a director for decades, but I haven't seen his films. I guess he's the type of person that doesn't like to hog credit."

C. C. asked "Can I come to Hollywood too?"

Lelouch said "Well I got four tickets so it would help if you came. Suzaku and Shirley are coming too. I'm going to have to wear my Zero costume the whole time to save my secret identity."

A few days later Lelouch, C. C., Suzaku Kururugi, and Shirley Fenette arrived at Hollywood. Shirley said "This is a beautiful looking place."

Lelouch replied "Hold on. Places aren't beautiful."

Suzaku said "She was simply giving Hollywood a compliment. It's not like she would kiss a studio."

Lelouch replied "I've kissed dolls before so it's hard to judge."

C. C. said "Despite that you judge us all the times."

Lelouch replied "I only judge you when you do a dumb thing that I don't approve of."

Lelouch said "I better go get my Zero costume on. I'll be back in like twenty minutes." Lelouch walked to the restroom, got on his Zero costume, and walked out. He looked around and saw a statue of Tony Jay. He stared at it for several minutes.

Suzaku said "He sure is a dedicated fan."

Lelouch (Zero) replied "Tony's the king of acting. When I compliment something I compare it to Tony Jay. For example C. C.'s the Tony Jay of roommates, Shirley's the Tony Jay of girlfriends, and Suzaku is the Tony Jay of questionable friendships."

Diethard Ried started broadcasting Lelouch and his friends. Diethard said "Greetings Zero. I came to Hollywood to broadcast information about your film."

Zero replied "You constantly prove how much importance your life lacks."

Diethard asked "How do you feel about getting your own film Zero?"

Zero said "Well I'm honored that Hollywood thinks that I'm important enough to be the subject of a film. Also Alan Smithee is a really iconic director so I trust him. I'm curious about who they're going to get to play me. They have to get somebody with loads of good looks, charm, awesomeness, and humor."

Diethard replied "They got a person of royalty to play you."

Zero said "I feel honored about that."

Diethard replied "Prince Schneizel's going to play you."

Zero angrily screamed "Schneizel's going to get a giant punishment for this."

C. C. said "It was a truly bad idea to get one of Zero's arch enemies to play Zero."

Diethard replied "I'm the one who suggested that casting choice to the director."

Suzaku asked "Why did you do that?"

Diethard said "To cause some delightful controversy. People that love Zero will be angry that the prince is playing him and people that like the prince will be ticked off that he's playing Zero. It's a way to get everybody, but it ironically will get everybody to watch the event."

Zero burst into the room where the film was being made. The producer asked "Who's the costumed dude?"

The writer said "I think that's the real Zero."

Prince Schneizel was wearing a Zero costume. He said "Greetings Zero. It's so good to have the real Zero here. He can judge the quality of my acting. You should relax on a chair and watch me do the scenes."

Zero replied "Mr. Smithee is one of the most talented and honest directors ever, but he should be ashamed for allowing you to play me."

Prince Schneizel said "Please calm down Zero. It's a really good film. It represents you pretty well."

Zero replied "I doubt that. You probably changed the script to make me seem evil."

Prince Schneizel said "I had to make some rather big changes to the script."

The writer replied "Actually you didn't have to do that. You re-wrote a majority of my script."

Prince Schneizel said "The original script made you seem too heroic. I changed it to show off all of your evil qualities."

Suzaku, C. C., and Shirley walked into the room. Suzaku said "It's surprising that the prince is playing Zero."

C. C. replied "The prince is rather hot, but he would be a bad Zero."

Shirley said "Zero's the only one who could be a great Zero."

Prince Schneizel replied "Being great at that would be a giant disgrace. It's the smallest number ever."

Zero said "This film is too terrible to be released in theaters."

Prince Schneizel replied "But the big plan is to have it be released in over two thousand theaters."

Zero said "That would a shameful event."

Prince Schneizel replied "You're the prince of exaggerations."

Zero said "You're the prince of evil." The prince punched Zero. Zero kicked the prince. The two of them battled each other on the film sets.

The producer said "I hope that the film sets don't get broken."

C. C. replied "They're going to get broken. Zero's the prince of slapstick."

Shirley said "Zero is a great person, but he breaks more stuff than most people."

Suzaku replied "When I had dinner with him at my house he accidentally broke the fireplace, five chairs, part of the fridge, and laundry machine."

Zero said "I'm going to be the king of this fight."

Prince Schneizel replied "Yeah right."

Several minutes later the fight ended. All of the film sets got broken apart. Diethard Ried said "Recording the fight was a treat. It'll be a great news story tonight."

The producer said "The film is doomed."

The director replied "I disagree with you on that. We filmed enough scenes to have a feature length film. We'll put the fight between Zero and the prince in there. We can pretend that their fight is the climax."

Zero said "Alan Smithee's not as good of a director as I thought he was."

The director replied "The film is scheduled to be released in two months. That's enough time to do all the editing and the other stuff."

Prince Schneizel smirked and said "You proved how bad you are Zero by ruining the film. I'm ashamed of how you acted today."

Zero replied "You're fibbing about that you smug wise guy."

Shirley said "Well you do have the honor of having a film about you."

Zero replied "If they made a film about you it would be called Princess Cutie." Shirley blushed.

C. C. asked "If they made a film about me what would be the name?"

Zero said "Dominos Pizza."

Suzaku asked "What would my film be called?"

Zero said "Direct to DVD."

Diethard walked up to Zero and said "I'm curious what my film would be called."

Zero replied "The Cruel Broadcaster." Diethard frowned at Zero.

Prince Schneizel asked "What would a film starring me be called?"

Zero said "Garbage."


End file.
